I stumbled into the Joe Coffin series at some point in 2021 or 2022, and returned this spring to finish out the series. Divided into “Seasons” – sort of written mini-series – these are action-filled and entertaining, although with some rough edges which gradually started to wear as time (and the pages) went by. For those uninitiated into Preston’s Coffinverse, the hero/anti-hero/titular character, Joe Coffin, is an old-school gangster in post-industrial Birmingham, England. (Think of an older and less subtle version of this guy.)
“That’s a lot of killing, Coffin, but I suppose that’s what you do best, isn’t it? ”
Season One dropped him into the middle of a serious vampire problem. He takes care of the principal vampire, but at that point the genie’s out of the proverbial bottle and has little desire to go back.
Joe Coffin: Seasons Two and Three Complete
In Season Two, Coffin takes on an even more vengeful sociopath than he is – well, that’s the whole series really, innit? – with a very personal grudge against him. Birmingham remains under threat from its vampire infestation, which the authorities deal with in an odd and exceptionally passive way. Coffin’s bacon is rescued by an unusual, sensual, secretive, semi-reformed vampire, Leola who’s jetted in from Louisiana to Birmingham for the festivities. There’s some sex, lots of violence, some comedy, and nary a healthy relationship to be found. The star of the season is an industrial meat grinder, which makes an appearance at the end.
Season Three follows straight on the heels of the disturbing incident with the meat grinder. Coffin beats the rap for a monumental laundry list of crimes, everyone’s relationships remain refreshingly dysfunctional, Birmingham continues to fail to take its vampire problem seriously, and there’s a ton of violence along with a heap of plot twists. The season ends with a gangster-on-vampire confrontation.
Joe Coffin: Season Four and The Final Chapter
Season Four opens with a complete reversal of everything we’ve seen Joe Coffin do in the past. Haha, no of course not. It opens with him and his mates off doing a bit of murder, before returning to Vampire Central, formerly known as Birmingham. More complications ensue, Coffin partners with the wrong team to make an easy score which naturally isn’t, and the vampire problem, like Russian history, shows a strong tendency to just get worse.
The “final” part in “Final Chapter” is presumptively a lie, but Preston still does fine work trying wrap up the tangled, blood-soaked threads from earlier entries in the Coffinverse. Unlikely as it may seem, could there be a trip into a quiet retirement for Coffin?
Joe Coffin Returns, Ken Preston, 2022
Joe Coffin Returns is set shortly after the end of the putative “Final Chapter” and sees Coffin face a new threat: after vanquishing vampires, the Triads, the police, and assorted other sociopaths Coffin finds that he’s been cursed. It turns out that murdering a witch’s husband and stealing their money doesn’t go down well, and she’s out for revenge. And yes, the vampires are back. For comedic relief, Preston gives much more play to “The Fearless Vampire Killers” – Johnny B. Tough and Lei -- and an oily social media influencer called "The Vampire Botherer" -- very British... Preston flagged a little bit earlier in the series, but he’s got his stride back here. The characters and story don’t break a lot of new ground, but they don’t have to – this is solid if slightly mindless entertainment.
“He would have been worried sick all day. She should have called him earlier. But what the hell was she going to tell him? Whatever she decided on, one thing it couldn’t be was the truth.”
Preston’s got a knack for creating characters. Most everyone who gets more than a couple of paragraphs is some shade of terrible (current or former) human being. And they’re interesting because they spend their days doing things which generally are also various shades of terrible.
Preston writes clearly and simply — he brings even ordinary descriptions to life with surprising verve. He also keeps you coming back to see what the next atrocity is going to be, and the plot revolves quickly enough that there always something new to feel bad about being intrigued by in a few pages.
This is also the challenge in reading this series: the tradeoff to a high pace is less depth. By the second half of Season Three, things were starting to feel a tad formulaic. The series gets its momentum back by the time Joe Coffin returns, but it was still pretty noticeable. On the whole that was a good tradeoff – if you’re looking for dark and violent entertainment, this is straight up your alley.
“The inside of the van stank of oil, and there wasn’t a sofa or coffee percolator in sight. Neither were there any windows, but somebody had strung a lamp up on the inside of the van’s roof, which cast a harsh light over the van’s white framework. To Emma the effect was an eerie one, and gave her the impression of sitting inside the bleached ribcage of some long dead, prehistoric animal.”
Parts 2, 3, 4 and Final Chapter:
Smirk factor: All clear: 2 pts (3 smirks in 880ish pages)
Immersion factor: Shallow: 1 pt
Writing quality: Above-average: 1.5 pts
Character/plot development: Average: 1 pt
Innovative/interesting: Above-average: 1.5 pt (Cheesy vampires vs. Bullet-Tooth Tony from Snatch…)
Total: 7/10 (3.5 stars)
Joe Coffin Returns:
Smirk factor: All clear: 2 pts (Unbelievably, zero smirks!)
Immersion factor: Chest-high: 1.5 pts
Writing quality: Above-average: 1.5 pts
Character/plot development: Average: 1 pt
Innovative/interesting: Above-average: 1.5 pt
Total: 7.5/10 (3.75 stars)